just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
