haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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