we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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