so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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