I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
