I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
