i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
