I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
