so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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