Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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