areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
