I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
