ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
