Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
