I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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