I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize