My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
