This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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