if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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