Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Drunk is a universal language darling
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
