it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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