the condom got lost in my hair
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need moral support for this bender
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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