he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
