You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize