If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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