Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize