Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
