She said her name was "party"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
