Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
