That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
