I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
