you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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