he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
