I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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