So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize