just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
