The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
