After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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