Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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