Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
