He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
