so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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