I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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