You work out of a Hotel?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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