Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday