He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???