11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.