you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.