I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??