Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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