so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
