If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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