who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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