I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
