eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
