So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
