some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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