you turned your livingroom into a bong?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
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so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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