no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
