9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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