Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
