Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
