Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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