No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
